Thor (2011)

I write these posts with little thought to spoilers. Beware.

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) talk about Thor's inability to improve his attitude the apparently teeny tiny amount his father wants him to in order for Thor to maybe ascend to the throne.

Synopsis: There’s some exposition, which is confusing, and then some funny stuff with me Thor and you Jane (Natalie Portman) and her band of nerdy misfits. And then some epilogue. I will be waiting with bated breath for The Avengers…

Let me start by apologizing for how very long it’s been since I last posted. After some family health problems and then the sudden, but inevitable end of the semester madness, I have returned…to rant about a movie I was expecting to enjoy and thoroughly did not.

Rotten Tomatoes, you led me astray with your 66% from top critics. 66% implies that a movie at least leaves you not feeling wholly unsatisfied at the end of the film. But despite some enjoyable and entirely quotable lines from the middle third of Thor, this movie was poorly written – both in terms of dialogue and plot. And I’m sorry, but I’m only willing to accept failure on one of those counts. It felt as though the three writers listed as the films screenwriters each took on a different section of the movie without referring to the rest of the film. Characters’ motivations were confusing and unclear. The bad guy was befuddling. The hero didn’t change very much. The romance was limited and then overplayed at the end. And Thor’s mom was one of the lamest characters to grace the screen in quite some time.

Natalie Portman and Chris Hemsworth are both pretty in this movie. And they get a few good lines (Natalie Portman in particular), but I'm not sure that justifies this film's budget.

And look movie, you’re the one making up these new-fangled sci fi rules – you’ve got to stick to them.

I was left with so many questions at the end of this movie. Most of them involving the words “why” and “Loki.” And let me just say that the man who directed a four hour (and quite good) production of Hamlet should not be making 3D comic book movies. It was doomed from the start folks.

If I had been a better mood and/or if my expectations had been lower I might have enjoyed this movie. But as it was, I was expecting a quality summer sci fi/comic book flick and I was let down. I have now paid Hollywood back for being pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed Fast Five. Don’t mess me around on Super 8, Hollywood. Just don’t do it.

Takeaway quote: Next time you taser someone, make sure they’re already in the car.

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